Thoughts

it just feels so wrong. 


maybe it was wrong of me to keep believing that things will get better, and maybe it was wrong of me to start believing a little more each time I feel like things are getting better. but then I felt like it was wrong of me too, to be realisitc and let go then. because if I did, it would mean letting go of what I thought was my true and sincere feelings. letting go of people you truly care for just cause things start going wrong, just cause you start to feel the distance bridging itself between you and those people and just cause for the simple reason that you feel its time to let go and not hold on for the better of everyone is like almost saying youre giving up, on those people and everything between you and them. either way, nothing was or is easy and it all just feels so wrong. why did things turn out this way? I often wonder. I hate people who indulge themselves in pathetic thoughts like " if I disappear then everything would be better", " my existence is just simply worth nothing" etc. but slowly, these thoughts are creeping themselves into my head, ugh. 


okay sorry just needed a space to rant everything out and get these thoughts out.of.my.head. k its time for me to sleep, need to wake up early for work tml. goodnight!